Navigating the Stars

Now that I've gotten a little sleep and the free vodka smell has pretty much evaporated from my skin, I think I'm ready to blog again. I thought however, that instead of sharing what I learned today, I'd share a few things I learned over the 5 days I missed during the film festival.
It's hard to know where to begin.




David Wain is damn funny, but it's hard to tell at first. He's so deadpan when you talk to him, that until you get to know him a bit, you sort of furrow your brows and wonder if you're just too normal to get him. I wish I could have spent more time with him.







Ernie Hudson, whom everyone called, "That Ghostbusters Guy" even though he's done so much more, is the nicest, most gracious, kind and gentle, loving man. I met him last year and he remembered me. Or at least he was polite enough to act like he did.




The only thing Joe Pantoliano, known around here as Joey Pants, has in common with Guido the Killer Pimp or Ralphie on the Sopranos is that he's Italian. Very Italian. I was lucky enough to attend a small and exclusive dinner party with him, where I learned that he is also very friendly, passionate, positive-thinking, and generous. And he likes the way I smell.


I learned a LOT about my favorite Saturday Night Live girl Cheri Oteri, but I'll keep most of it to myself as a lot of it is personal. We spent most of the festival together and I feel like we're old friends. I will say that she is prettier in person than in pictures, more serious in real life than on screen, and she's very tiny. Her first name is Cheryl and yes, her last name is really Oteri, but before Don Pardo started rhyming her name, she thought of herself as Cheri O-tiery. I love and adore her and I'm totally going to miss her.







Emily Van Camp is as cute and sweet as the roles she does. Maybe even more. She looks exactly the same in person as she does in her beautiful photos, and I recognized her right away. She was easy to work with, and very gracious. It was nice having her here.







When I first met DB Sweeney, all I knew is that he looked familiar. It wasn't until we walked into the theatre and some woman told him how much she loved him in Cutting Edge that I realized who this clown was. I couldn't believe she recognized him, and I was especially in awe when she handed her camera to Cheri to get a picture with her favorite star! I love this guy, even though he embarrased me in the center of my hometown. Word of advice if you ever find yourself walking through a park with him where teenage punk rockers are throwing gummy-bears at each other; run and hide behind the nearest tree. Or just join in and start screaming along in complete horror. He was a silly little boy, but I'll blame it on the wine.

To my complete disappointment, I didn't realize that the guy who was freaking me out this weekend was William Mapother, who played creepy guy Ethan on LOST. I kept avoiding the huge, scary-looking dude who kept staring at me. Seriously, I thought he was going to kidnap me. I realize now that I was just biased against him because I'd seen him drag Claire into the jungle on TV, but I wasn't consciencely aware of it when I saw him. It was weird though how I never saw him smile, and I don't remember him speaking. I wonder if he was just fucking with me. Was he getting some sick thrill out of intimidating little blonde chicks? Did he turn to his friends and laugh after I ran around the corner? Damn. I'll never know.


That crazy, fun, stylish, beautiful girl I met at a friends house was a super-model. I knew she was a model and her name was Irina, but I don't keep up with fashion or models, especially super-models, so I didn't realize who she was. I thought she was refreshingly different from the crowd, and found it interesting how she always managed to be in front of a camera. And apparently Ms. Pantaeva is into filmmaking too.


These next 2 peeps I didn't actually meet, but I talked to them on the phone and learned that they are both huge, whiney pains-in-the-asses.
Is that slander? No, it's fact. But I'll spare the details to save on lawyer fees just in case.

Ken Marino

Samantha Mathis

And last, but certainly not least, I met THE Daedalus Howell. Writer, actor, director, musician, editor, and all around funny guy, this was my favorite star siting of all.

Wait a sec.
I already know him.
Isn't he fab?