Negative Cerebral Flow

Completely brain dead today.

Could have something to do with the codeine cough syrup I drank out of the bottle last night.

Cock-a-Doodle-Do Me

Today I learned the useful skill of saying Cock-a-doodle-doo in 19 other languages.
Now I can talk to chickens where ever I go.

Chinese: gue-gue ou gou-gou
Danish: kykliky
Finnish: kukkokeikuu
French: cocorico
German: kikeriki
Greek: kikiriki
Hebrew: coucouricou
Gaelic: cuc-a-dudal-du
Italian: chicchirichi
Japanese: kou-kou-kou-kou
Dutch: kukeleku
Norwegian: kukkeliky
Polish: kukuryky
Portuguese: cocorococo
Romanian: cucurigu
Russian: kou-ka-re-kou
Serbo-Croatian: kukuriky
Spanish: quiquiriqui
Swedish: kuckeliku

Actually, roosters sound more like, "Ert-errrr-ert-errrrrr!". And I know. You should hear me.

Proper Goldfish Care

Well, today was the day I learned how to take care of a goldfish the right way, as opposed to the ole dump and forget method I practiced as a kid. I hope I learned it well. For my sons 4th birthday today, I decided to get him a pet, and since there's no way we're getting a dog, a fish seemed like a good idea. Hamsters just sleep all day and make noise all night, mice and rats stink, I hate to see a bird in a cage, and we already have 2 cats and a snake. Besides, I thought it was time he learned about death. Just kidding.
Meet Sara. I'd like to keep her alive as long as possible, so today I learned something from The Goldfish Sanctuary.

Keeping fish in a fish bowl is a bad thing to do. Supposedly you should get a tank, with a filter and a bubbler and crap. But if you're ignorant like me and bought a cute little bowl, you should make sure there's a lot of surface area at the top to allow more oxygen in.
Changing 1/3 of the water once a week is a really good thing to do because ammonia can build up and be dangerous, but make sure any water you add has sat out overnight. This is so the chlorine can evaporate and the water can reach room temperature.
Feeding a tiny bit several times a day is better than a bigger, once a day thing. Truthfully though, anything that eats even once a day in this house is pretty lucky, so we'll see about that.

"Ignorance of the goldfish's nature leads to more tragedies than can be believed."
I'll try to keep that in mind.

Illusive Tuna

I finally know what to do with these ball-sack looking things I see in the Mexican market and growing around town. The other day I saw a stripped one of these cactus' with a "No Mas" sign stuck to it, which got my attention. Then I saw an abundance of them in the front yard of my friends house. Ever the curious kitten, I carefully picked a few and brought them home. I knew they were edible, but I didn't know much more, so today I looked it up. I'm in love with the internet.

Picking them hurts. Duh, I know, but it's not the obvious sharp spiky spines that hurt so much. It's the small ones that stay in your fingers for days and you can't remove because they're seemingly invisible.


They are called Prickly Pear, Cactus Pear, Indian Figs, or, my favorite, Tuna.

Preparing them is supposed to be pretty simple, but I'm kind of afraid to try it. Soaking in cold water is said to remove the spines, but I don't believe it. After "de-spining", you simply cut them in half and peel the skin away like an avocado.

I don't know about that.

You could also remove them with a vegetable peeler and steam over boiling water for a few minutes. You can either slice and eat or mash them up to make a juice. Then you can make the juice into a jam, salad dressing, candy and lot's of other things.

I'm going to try the margaritas. If I can still type afterwards, I'll blah-g about it.

Creative Marketing (?) in Chile

My favorite guy was on our local radio station this morning. His name is Ron Lale, and I like listening to his voice and the interesting things he says. I always learn something from his twice weekly guest appearance, but all day I've been thinking about what he said this morning.

In Chile, there's an ad agency making fake cigarettes and dropping them on the ground in high pedestrian traffic areas. The idea is that some tard-ass smoker will be desparate enough to pick one up. Then they're apparently hoping that for some ricockulous reason, this dumb ass will decide to unroll it and find the public service announcement that reads:

"It seems not only do you need a cigarette, you also need help."


So I've been trying all day to decide if this is the greatest marketing I've ever heard, or the stupidest. On one hand, yes, it's brilliant. If someone is needing a cigarette so badly that they actually would pick one up off the ground, then they probably do need help. But my other hand thinks that smoking is probably not their biggest problem. Wouldn't the location of the nearest homeless shelter make more sense than a "Quit smoking" phone number? Then again, wouldn't this same person light it up before they had a chance to read it anyway?
I'd like to find some creative uses for this kind of marketing.

Reserved For Mental Abandonment

I learned something this morning, but I forgot what it was.


Hopefully I'll remember soon.


What did you learn today?

Spider Wasp

Yesterday was a perfect example for my August 26 post, Blog Before You Party. I guess I haven't really learned that yet since I forgot to blog before I went to a party last night.
But, what I learned today and what I learned yesterday sort of coincide. Here's how.
Yesterday afternoon, I was sitting in my backyard, painting my toenails so I'd have cute feet at this BBQ I was going to. When I got to my last little piggy, I noticed a very shiny, big, black bug on the ground. It looked like a wasp but it was very black and with blue stripes intead of the usual yellow. Then I noticed the grossest thing; it was attached to the HUGEST spider! I couldn't tell if the spider had the bug or the bug had the spider, until it became obvious that this wasp thingy was dragging the spider across the ground. It was so disgusting yet so intriguing, that I couldn't take my eyes off it. I followed it all the way across the lawn, over to our firewood pile, up a post, across the wood shed, onto the fence and over the other side. It was amazing. I don't know how it ever got up that post, going backwards no less.
This thing had purpose. Strength. Drive. Intent. It knew exactly what it was doing and where it was going. I was impressed in so many ways.
So now it was a 1/2 hour later and I had grass marks on my pink toes with no time to fix them or to blog. I was already at my usual and fashionable one hour lateness and then I didn't get home until after midnight. It was then, today, early this morning, that I found out about this insect on the internet.

From late spring to early autumn, across North America, there is a female wasp that hunts spiders, mainly wolf or funnel web spiders. First she stings the spider, which doesn't kill it but paralyzes it, then she drags it to her nest where she'll lay an egg on it. When the larva hatches, it will eat the still living spider. The one I saw was called a Blue-Black Spider Wasp.


I swear I feel something crawling on me everytime I think about it.

Mr. Picassohead

As I was getting caught up on my old Daily Candy e-mails this afternoon, I came across this site for creating your own Picasso. It's quite fun and addicting.

Mr. Picassohead

When you're finished creating your own amazing art, don't forget to peek through the gallery. You'll be amazed.
I want to see yours!

The St. Joseph Tradition

I used part of my lunch today talking on the phone to a realtor friend of mine. Since I'm in the process of buying and possibly selling a house, we of course spent some time talking real estate. He told me about something a lot of his clients are using, called The St. Joseph Home Selling Kit. I hadn't heard of it, so after what I'm sure I heard as a small chuckle, he told me all about it.

There's an old tradition of burying a statue of St. Joseph, upside down with his feet pointing to heaven, in the front yard of a home that is for sale. After the sale is made, the statue is dug up and then put in a special place at the new house.
St. Joseph is the saint of home, family and workers, so he's been attributed with some special real estate powers.

Supposedly this is a nice gift to give to someone who is trying to sell their home, but I wonder, will it only work if you believe in god?
They range from about 5 - 15 bucks. (hint hint)
Since I'm not a believer, I'd like to have one just for the corny factor. And for the story-telling opportunity when someone asks why I, Donna Piranha, have a religious statue by my bed.

Take As Directed

I just got home from Back-to-School night, and I learned something in the 15 minutes I got of my sons English class. They're reading a book called The Wave, by Todd Strasser. Here's what I learned:

At a high school in 1967, a world history high school teacher, Ron Jones, decided to answer a students question about whether or not a Holocaust could happen here, by doing an experiment. He devoted the next days class to the topic of discipline, while having the students sit straight up in their chairs with their hands behind their backs. The next day he introduced a special greeting called the Third Wave, which the students were required to use if they saw each other outside of class. By the end of just one week, not only were these classmates all doing it, but 200 other students had joined in. The idea was to show how powerful the pressure to belong can be, and apparently it worked. It got out of control so quickly, to the point of fearing for the safety of those that wouldn't join, that it had to be called off.

Mr. Jones wrote an essay about the experience, of which Mr. Strasser loosely based his book. There's also a movie of the story, that you can watch here.

Amazing. Scary. Interesting.

2 Month Anniversary Fun

I didn't learn anything on this day that marks two months since I began, but here are some things that I hope will make this day special anyway.

Today is International Talk Like a Pirate Day.

On this day in:

1692- Some guy got "pressed" to death for refusing to plead in the Salem witch trials. His last reported words were, "More weight."

1900- Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid committed their first robbery together.

1957- The first U.S. underground nuclear bomb was tested.

1985- The Mexico City earthquake killed 9,000 people.

1988- At the Seoul Olympics, Greg Louganis hit his head on the board during one of his dives.

1991- Otzi the Iceman was found by some German tourists near Austria.

Some of today's birthdays are:

Adam West- The original Batman.
Mama Cass Elliot- I love The Mama's and Papa's music.
Randolph Mantooth- For my sister- Remember how much you loved Emergency! ?
Cheri Oteri- She's fucking hilarious on Saturday Night Live. Oh, and Jimmy Fallon too!

And deathdays:

Conde Nast- An American publisher who's name gets stuck in my head all the time.
Will Cuppy, Red Foley, Hermes Pan, Slim Dusty and Skeeter Davis. I have no idea who these guys are, I just had to put them in because of their fun names.

Welp, that's it. I hope you learned something here today.

The Will to Destroy

I looked up something today that I've been a little curious about. Is there a difference between Envy and Jealousy?

Yes, there is.

Jealousy is how you feel when you have a significant relationship that you think is being threatened.

Envy is how you feel when you're lacking a skill, achievement or possession that someone else has, and you really wish you had it.

I wish I never had to feel either of these emotions, but they are both part of the normal human experience. I think being able to recognize these crappy feelings when they come up, and open enough to talk about them, can definitely help lead to positive ways for dealing with them.
Sometimes the truth hurts, but denial can kill.

Reluctant Narcissist

I've had the crappiest fucking day, but I'll spare the details and just get to what I learned today.

I'm the kind of person who will cry if they don't have anything, let alone the right thing, to wear.

This was a total shocker to me. I'm the kind of person who just jumps out of bed, puts on my favorite jeans and a shirt, then runs out the door. Of course I pee, brush my teeth and hair and stuff, but I usually don't give more than a minutes thought to how I look. Especially for work. Super extra especially on the weekend.
There are of course a few exceptions, but today, we were just going down the street for our usual Sunday brunch when I freaked out. All 5 of my favorite jeans were in the dryer, still wet. I have tons of cute skirts, but no shirts to go with any of them. My other pants are ugly, too small or just wrong. I don't know why I even have most of the clothes I have. I hate them. Actually, I think it's the extra pounds I've acquired that I hate. I just don't look right. Nothing fits. So depressing.
Anyway, after trying on at least 10 things, I yelled out, "Forget it! I have nothing to wear and I'm staying home in my nightgown!".
Then I started crying. Me! About fucking clothes! I couldn't believe it.

The Atomic Second

I think I had something like 6 full minutes alone at home today and it was the most beautiful 360 seconds I've had in a long time. It felt like time stood still. It was quiet. I could breathe. I loved it.
Right before my paradise came to a screaming child end, I had been thinking about the concept of time. The illusions we have of time. How is it that some days at work, it's lunch time and it feels like I just got there (don't say it Rebecca), and some days I swear the batteries in our clock must be dead. Some days fly by and some of them drag. Most times, 6 minutes can seem like barely enough time to do anything. Sometimes they can feel like an hour.
I'm wondering if I knew ahead of time that I was going to have just 6 minutes, would I have enjoyed it? Or was it because it was unexpected free time with an unknown end that it seemed so long?
Since I was thinking about time today, I did a little reading about it, and I learned something I don't recall ever knowing before.

Until right before I was born, what we all know as one second of time, was defined in terms of the Earth's motions. Then that same year, when teeny tiny me was discovered, the teeny tiny second got a new defintion. Unlike me, it hasn't changed. The definition is still 9,192,631,770 cycles of the Cesium (see-zee-um) atom's resonant frequency.
What?
Cesium is a metallic element, used in the atomic clock, which, so far, is the most precise method for measuring time. If you shoot microwave beams at some Cesium (don't do this yourself) and measure the vibration of the radiation, multiply it by that huge number above, you'll get yourself one cute little second. The scientist have tried this with other elements and molecules but Cesium is the only one with the frequency most relative to astronomical time. The first atomic clock was made using ammonia, but it wasn't so great.

So, that's it. That's what I learned today. I thought it was interesting.
Now I want my 9,192,631,770, times 6 or whatever, resonations back.

Retarded Hypochondriac

I've had this crappy cough for about a week now and I was sure I was dying from the West Nile Virus. There have been stories in our local papers about a few dead crow findings nearby, so of course I knew that was how I got this cough. Since tonight we're supposed to go to a pregnant friends house for dinner and a "game night" get together, I thought maybe I should make sure I'm not going to kill them all too, so I Googled it.

Here's what I don't have:

West Nile Virus. Coughing is NOT a WNV symptom. Now if I had a fever, headache, tiredness, body aches and maybe a skin rash, then I should worry. Even if I did have West Nile Fever, it would only last a few days, maybe a few weeks, and I'd get over it and live happily ever after.

I thought WNV was one of those SARS diseases where you get it, you die, slowly and painfully. Apparently the worst thing that can happen to you if you get it, besides feeling like you might want to die from the pain, would be some permanent neurological effects. And what's a little permanent brain damage? what's a little permanent brain damage? what's a little permanent brain damage? what's a little permanent brain damage?

Finding My Religion. Or Not.

I took a quiz today that's supposed to tell me what religion I practice or should consider practicing. While I don't believe the result I got was totally accurate, it was interesting to see. I think if I paid more attention to the "What priority do you place on this selection?" that came after each quiz question, it might be more accurate. But I really don't care that much. I know what I believe and I practice or don't practice whatever I practice based on that, and that's enough practice for me.

Here's what I learned are my top three closest matches for my religious beliefs:

1) Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestants
2) Unitarian Universalism
3) Liberal Quakers

I've never even heard of these before. I like the sound of Unitarian Universalism, and I like that Liberal shows up twice. Nicely enough, along with the quiz results there's a handy link of each religion for further reading. I have some thinking to do tonight.

Here's the link if you want to take the quiz yourself: Belief-O-Matic
Yep, it's actually called Belief-O-Matic. How much do you love that?

Unitarian Universalism. Unitarian. Universalism. Uni. One. I like it.

I'd love for you to comment your results.

Peace Clause, Santa Claus and My Claws

I had a discussion today about the possible repeal of Article 9 in the Constitution of Japan. I didn't even know Japan had a Constitution, let alone know what Article 9 was. History was my favorite class for napping or writing love notes to my boyfriend(s).

So the first thing I learned today was:

Japan has a Constitution.

The second thing I learned was:

Article 9 is a section of this constitution also known as the "Peace Clause", which says that Japan renounces war and won't maintain any armed forces, or use force as a means of settling international disputes.

I also learned:

Japan has the 4th largest defense budget in the world.

From what I understand, Japan would like to be more of a modern country, or more "normal" as they say. They think this Article 9 is outdated and they would like to be able to defend themselves against North Korea and shit. Understandable.
I've spent the last few years thinking about how so much of what we all do and take for "normal" is outdated, like we're all still using Windows 95 or something.
Like marriage, coal mining, religion and Santa Claus.
These were all useful and good at some point in our history and development. They served a purpose for their time.
But really, instead of marriage, can't we just go get a legal document with power of attorney for our loved one, regardless of sex? Same sex, no sex, one sex, three sex, who cares?
Why is there an abundance of free, clean sunshine that could run our computers and possibly our cars and so much more, yet people are being trapped and killed mining non- renewable, air polluting coal?
Hasn't religion killed more good people than saved them?
What kind of a lesson is it to children to "be good" all year and Santa Claus will reward them with material possessions? (made in China no doubt). I hate the way we're all supposed to put on the holiday spirit and be more kind and generous to our neighbors for "the season". Fuck 'em the rest of the year, right?
Is there really a threat of Japan bombing Pearl Harbor again?

I think we should all be rethinking a lot of things we do on automatic. Closet cleaning is a very rewarding experience.
I also think every country should just put a "Peace Clause" into their constitution.

A Night Off

I just learned that:


Grandma is spending the night tonight!



What a nice surprise. I'm going to escape while I can.

5 Years and a Dime Later

Yes, I admit, I used that title so I'd get found on today's expected surge of searches for Sept. 11, but I also really did want to write something related to the issue.
I've spent the last week with a sense of forboding about this day. I was honestly expecting something bad to happen. So much so, that last Friday at work, I left some crap unfinished, thinking it wouldn't really matter once Nine Eleven 2006 arrived.
Well, as the uneventful end-O-day draws neigh and the status quo remains the status quo, I've learned what it means to find a dime in the United States Postal Service parking lot today, September 11th, stamped 2001.

It doesn't mean anything.

I'd like to think it was a special message to, "Never forget what happened on this day, in this year, five years ago", or saying, "Today we are safe", but I think if it means anything, it means some mail carrier (maybe Dan, our hottie mailman?) had a hole in his or her pocket today.
It was still a nice little experience though, and I'm glad I got to waste my free thinking on the "What does this mean?", question, instead of surviving mass destruction and devastation.
BTW, I left the dime on the sorting table inside the post office, hoping someone else will have a chance to wonder what it means to find a 2001 dime today.

Goodnight Sweetheart

I'm so tired. I was just looking for a nice image of a girl sleeping for my post, and then I was going to write something about teaching myself to go to bed early. Then I found something a teeny bit more interesting. I said a teeny bit.

The period of falling asleep is called the Hypnogogic state, and waking up is called the Hypnopompic state. There is something called Hypnogogic Sensations, which are dream-like experiences that occur during either state. Have you ever just drifted off to sleep and then jumped up suddenly because you felt like you were falling? That was a hypnogogic sensation.

It was very interesting reading, but I'm really tired. I'm going to go do some field research and see if I can find some fun hypnogogic sensations.

Here's a little blurbage for your reading pleasure, but I recommend you go look it up for more interesting information.

The hypnagogic state can be accompanied by or associated with anomalous phenomena such as alien abduction, ESP, telepathy, apparitions, or prophetic or crisis visions....

Say Cheese!

The other day I was looking for something fun to do with a 4 year old, and I came across a recipe to make your own cottage cheese. Now there's something different. Only thing is, you need sour milk. When was the last time we had sour milk in the house? Well, lucky (?) enough for me, we just happened to find some in the fridge this morning, a split second before it got poured onto breakfast. Ta-da! Ask and ye shall receive.
According to the recipe I have, you just need to slowly heat the sour milk until a liquid (called whey) forms on the top, and then you pour it off to get your "curds". Go ahead and say it. Miss Muffat. There.
I found out later that you need to start off with not just sour milk, you need down-right disgusting, curdled, solid rotten milk. Ghee-ross. Since I had already begun heating my only-a-little-gross sour milk, I continued on and learned the following:

I can make Ricotta cheese! And it's not bad. I just simmered it for about an hour, and little white curds started to appear. I poured the whole thing into a colander lined with cheese cloth (now I know why it's called that) , added salt, squeezed it a few times, and voila! I have something that looks and tastes exactly like Ricotta. It looks just like this picture.

So I'm thinking tomorrow night I might make lasagne for dinner. I also think I might start getting in to making other kinds of cheese.

Zine Fest

The only thing I really learned today, I learned on Myspace.

A "friend" I have, mainly because I like his name and picture, posted a bulletin about the San Francisco Zine Fest this weekend. A bunch of people who publish their own Zines or comics will be showing their stuff and it sounds pretty cool and interesting.

I didn't know about it yesterday, so I figure this is something learned. Today I'm blogging it, tomorrow I'm attending it.

For those of you who are unfamiliar with the term, a zine is usually a small circulation, independent, self-published mini-magazine, that almost never makes any profit.

San Francisco Zine Fest

Why?

Someone is earning a living making shoes for dogs.


Sorry, but I didn't learn anything else today. Can anybody please explain this Photoshop hack job to me, and then tell me why a dog needs shoes? Nevermind. Please don't.

Atlas, Amber, Alcyone and Automobiles

Some interesting stuff I learned today and funny enough, it All starts with the letter "A".
It started when I Asked myself, "What's the big deal About Subaru's? Everybody fucking loves Subaru's. What Am I missing here?".
A while back I heard they were marketing to lesbians, but since I Actually know only one Subaru driving lesbian, I thought I'd figure out if there was something else About them that Attracts Alot of people I know. Which led to the following:

Automobiles: Subaru is the Japanese term identifying the cluster of (the car company says six, but I say seven) stars, known as Pleiades. How they decided to use this term for their name is semi-retarded as far as I can see. They say in 1953, 5 Japanese companies merged to form a new corporation, and that's why their logo is 6 stars that look like Pleiades even though there are 7 stars in this cluster, one for each of the Greek mythological seven sisters. I guess they're being visually literal and taking into account that you can only really see six of the seven. Whatever. Sounds lame to me. Maybe they had a different numerical system in 1953.

Alcyone: One of the seven sisters, sometimes known as Halcyone, which is also another name for the Kingfisher bird. The largest kingfisher is the Laughing Kookaburra, which made me laugh so I had to share. Kingfishers kill their prey by beating it to death, which I also think is funny. Yes I do.

Amber: Amber is Latin for Electrum. Electrum in Greek is Elektron. Another of the seven sisters is Electra, which means 'amber'. Some guy (Thales of Miletus, but who cares?) in 600 BC discovered that a rubbed piece of amber will attract bits of straw, thereby discovering static electricity. So which came first, the chicken or the egg? I don't know what any of this means anymore. Elektron= Electrum= Amber= Static Electricity when rubbed= Electricity= Carmen Electra. That must be it.

Atlas: Of course this led to Atlas, whom I'm embarrased to say I didn't know or remember until today, is the father of the seven sisters.

And that is All I learned today. I still don't get the Subaru thing though.

Things I Never Knew About Myself

I was just sitting here thinking that the only thing I learned today was that sometimes I'm an idiot. Then I realized that I've known that for a while now, so I can't blog that tidbit. After a few minutes of self reprimanding followed by a spritz of "who cares?", I read my e-mail. My faithful reader and person I call Bitch (aka Mom), sent me a fun link. I'll give it to you in a sec, but first you have to read some new information I learned about myself today.

• I've slept through most of 14,147 sunrises.
• I could boil 4.46 US ounces of water with the birthday candles on my next birthday cake. If I get one.
  
• I'm the same age as a dog that is 5. 53698630136986 years old.
• My Native American Zodiac sign is an owl. I didn't realize there was a Native American Zodiac.
• My musical vibration is a C sharp. A female deer on a C sharp major scale.
  
• My Yang and Yin are in perfect balance.
• My Life Path number is 11, which is a Master number. Oooooh, I'm special. It means I have the potential for greatness. Yep.
• My conception day was most likely on a Tuesday and in a car. Right mom?
• My birth tree is a Fig tree. Yum. I love figs, but a birth tree?
  
• The picture above is my Chinese sign, Year of the Goat. Maaaaaaa.

Wasn't that fun and interesting? Now you can go find out this interesting kind of knowledge about yourself.

Click here if you're an idiot too sometimes.
Click here if you're never an idiot.

I love you mom.

Non-Instant Karma, or Steve Irwin Finally Bites It

Aw, sweet, docile, graceful stingray. How beautiful you are. I think I'll wrestle you and torture you for the purpose of entertaining a bunch of idiots. Here I co .. shit ...I ...think ... stung

Stingray's can kill you.

I know, you've already heard that, but I really didn't know that a stingray would sting you and you could die from it. I also now know that stingrays are in the Dasyatidae family, of the Rajiformes order in the Chondrichthyes class of the Chordata phylum in the Animalia kingdom, and that Wikipedia has already cited Steve Irwin's death under the "Aggression" section on it's stingray page. Wow, that's pretty wiki-wiki, Wiki!

Really Serious Vodka

I just signed the counter to the counter to the counter on the offer for my house. Yay me. (Notice no exclamation point here). It's definitely Martini time folks, and lesson time. Here goes.

Hangar One makes a fine Grey Goose alternative for a dirty martini. Or two.

And I'm not getting paid to say so. They're pretty cool. Check them out.
Hangar One Vodka.
I like the picture on the front page. Alot. I am drunk. Ish.

The Conquest of Happiness

Boring day for learning, so here's a quote I found appropriate.

There is much pleasure to be gained from useless knowledge. ~Bertrand Russell

Like this sign I found on Engrish.com

May you have good pleasure here.

Tom Skat

Luckily, I learned today that:

Not only has Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes' (I'm not on a first name basis like most people think they are) little Suri been born with a silver spoon in her mouth, but she's lucky enough to have a bronze casting of her first real turd.

Artist Daniel Edwards thought, "A bronzed cast of baby's first poop can be a meaningful memento for the family". And if that weren't enough, it's going to be sold on E-bay after being exhibited in the same New York gallery that thought a life size, nude sculpture of Britney Spears giving birth would be an item of interest. I'm considering offering my bid to buy it.

I thought having my daddies baby shoes bronzed was a snobbish, stupid thing to do...