I Undastan Dat
I don't really know how many times, out of pure curiousity, I've picked up a bible and started reading it, then put it down five minutes later all pissed off. It seems to me that something as supposedly important as "THE word" should be a little easier to understand. But after our Maui visitor read this to us from the Hawaiian Pidgin bible last night, which is not intended as a joke by the way, I finally understand the Lords Prayer.
God, you our Fadda.
You stay inside da sky.
We like all da peopo know fo shua how you stay,
An dat you good an spesho inside,
An we like dem give you plenny respeck.
We like you come king ova hea now.
We like everybody make jalike you like,
Ova hea inside da world,
Jalike da angel guys up inside da sky make jalike you like.
Give us da food we need fo every day.
Let us go, an hemo our shame
Fo all da kine bad stuff we do to you,
Jalike us guys let da odda guys go awready,
An we no stay huhu wit dem
Fo all da kine bad stuff dey do to us.
No let us get chance fo do bad kine stuff,
But take us outa dea, so da Bad Guy no can hurt us.
Cuz you our king,
You get da real power,
An you stay awesome foeva.
Dass it!
And I love this -
"Everytime, dis how I pray: "God, you da God fo our Boss Jesus Christ. You our Fadda, an you stay awesome! I like you help da Efesus peopo fo know inside dea hearts wat fo do. An show dem plenny bout Christ, so dey goin know him mo betta.'" (Fo da Efesus Peopo 1:17)
Now, I could read a bible like this. Somehow it all makes sense, even though I still don't believe there's a big man in da sky.
Ok, one more and then I'll send you out on your own.
Den had one big storm ova dea, an da waves was bussing ova da boat, so da boat almos wen huli. But Jesus still yet stay sleeping in da back on one pillow. His guys wen go wake him up, an tell him, “Eh, Teacha! You no care we goin mahke, o wat?”
| Jesus get up, an scold da wind an da waves. He say, “Quiet! No move aroun!” Den da wind wen pau an da waves wen come nice. An he tell his guys, “How come you guys scared? You guys no trus me, o wat?” (Mark Tell Bout Jesus 4:37-40) |
Wat Da Bible Say Bout Important Stuffs <---- click here ja idiot
3 comments:
Stay awesome, God, stay awesome!
we need to start one of those churches here. Spread da word of the Boss, gimme a dass it!
wow, maybe we can get it translated into ebonics too.
taint no bid than
Oh there is. Here are the ebonic 10 commandments. My favorite is the last one.
1. I am the cool mack daddy of the dope hype flow. Give me props and mad respect.
2. Don't be kneeling for some bling bling.
3. Don't be throwing my name around, be it J. Hovah or Yah Diddy.
4. Yo, Sunday is "funday", ya dig?
5. Respect your moms, your pops, or whoever it was raised you, unless they whack.
6. Thou shalt not bust a cap in someone's ass.
7. Don't be running around on people like they don't know.
8. No five-finger discounts.
9. Don't front.
10. If your neighbor's got a fly crib or a pimped-out set of wheels, that's they bidness, not yours.
And here's the Lords prayer-
Big Daddy's Rap
Yo, Big Daddy upstairs,
You be chillin
So be yo hood
You be sayin' it, I be doin' it
In this ere hood and yo's
Gimme some eats
And cut me some slack, Blood
So's I be doin' it to dem dat diss me
Don' be pushin' me into no jive
And keep dem crips away
'Cause you always be da man,
Straight up
Of course I ain't sho dis is drue, but it's funny.
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