Food Power

For a long time now I've been wanting to hook my computer up to a bicycle and power it like the radio on Gilligans Island. I used to ride my bike to work every once in a while, and wondered how much Ben and Jerry's it took to get me the 5 mile round-trip. When the Colonel showed me something interesting he saw this morning about calories and exercise, I started doing some math.
If my calculations are correct:

I could eat a whole quart and ride to work, back home, and to the office again the next day, just on Chunky Monkey.

If I drank a gallon of gas, I could ride for 6 months! Of course I can't drink gasoline, but I could, maybe, drink a gallon of vegetable oil, which contains the same amount of calories.
OR, I could just use the 2 and 1/4 gallons of gas equivalent that I have stored in my ass.
I also learned that:

You could drive a car for approximately 50 miles with the energy stored in 123 Big Mac's from McDonalds. If you know how to use a vacuum cleaner, you could run it for an hour and a half on just one.

Alright, now I'm getting crazy, and I need to go pick up my son who is approximately 30 Big Mac's away from here. When I get back, I'm going to figure out how much of this blog I could have written if I had the Professors bamboo bicycle trick, using the Chinese food I just ate.