Smart Wood
Have you ever wondered what happens to the trees in forests that have been flooded by the construction of hydroelectric dams?
Me neither. But now I do know what happens to some of them.
They are harvested underwater by a robot.
Controlled remotely from the surface, the Sawfish not only cuts down submerged firs and pines, but also attaches inflatable airbags to the trees so they will float up to the surface.
Water pollution you say? Well, they say these machines use biodegradable and vegetable oil-based hydraulic fluids and are powered electrically.
Ricockulous and expensive you say? For 50 billion dollars worth of lumber that would be wasted anyway, I'm sure it's somehow cost effective.
Shitty lumber you say? Supposedly the quality of the wood is extremely good as it hasn't been exposed to oxygen (so they don't rot) and other wood-decaying fungi.
I wonder why they wouldn't just harvest the trees before flooding?
I wonder why we just don't use more free solar power?
I wonder why I wonder anything?
7 comments:
I need some context in all of this. What made you start pondering lumber-friendly robots? And do thoughts of robots fill your head with Philip K. Dick-inspired paranoia and dread? Do lumber robots dream of electric sheep? And if so, do they have plots to destroy us all in a Matrix-style takeover? The mind boggles.
"I wonder why I wonder anything?"
I keep wondering why the crack do I exist? What's the point of everything? What's the meaning of life?
I'm serious. Dead serious.
Well dearest Spitznagel, again you have much to learn about me. Not only do I have a thing for wood, in all of it's beautiful variations and slang definitions, I also have a thing for robots.
We need to spend more time together.
Ah Max, to be young again and not have it all figured out. I envy you.
Perhaps we shall IM later this evening and I'll explain it all.
You have a "thing for wood, in all of it's beautiful variations and slang definitions?" I'm sure I speak for men everywhere when I say, thank you. Thank you for filling our heads with enough filthy, inappropriate images to feed our imaginations for a lifetime.
I'd say "You're welcome" but you'd probably take that as an invitation. Not that I'd object being I'm totally in love with you and shit. :)
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