The Hedgehog
I learned a new word today, thanks to Ron Jeremy and one of my favorite peeps, Eric Spitznagel.
"Hirsuteness" means hairy. Shaggy. Covered with long stiff hairs.
I also learned who the hell this Ron Jeremy guy is.
How is it possible that I could be alive and not know who Ron Jeremy is? I guess maybe I wasn't reading the credits all those summer afternoons when my little sister and I would have all the neighborhood kids over for some, "our parents are at work right now" porn festivals. It's possible that back in those early 80's, my moms husband had the best personal porn collection ever, and we had complete and total access to every single one of those Beta tapes. It's more than likely that Mr. Jeremy's 9-plus inches pulsed, throbbed and spewed in front of my young and admiring eyes, but I never wondered who's cock that was.
So last night at Eric's birthday dinner, (where I gifted him of a personally made, dolphins doing 69 necklace) he told how he got a special phone call that morning because of this review in the New York Times. I'm sure he'll be telling the story on his own blog tomorrow so I won't spoil his story here on my little rag, but let's just say that after the stories I heard over our straight Scotch with no rocks last night, I just HAD to know who this Jeremy dude was!
And now I do and I'm eternally grateful because now I have a new hero.
4 comments:
Wonder what people at the dump thought when a truck dumped 400 vhs and beta porn videos out. Check out myspace and look at some of my co-worker's myspace sites. I think at least 2 have pics on there of them with your new well hung hero.. but hates to break your heart.. you would have really loved Long Dong Silver...
So glad to hear that I contributed to your continued moral decline. I wouldn't be concerned that it's taken you this long to figure out who Ron Jeremy is. Not many porn consumers stick around long enough to study the credits. Although thanks to your blog, I now have a vivid image of you as a teenager, wondering aloud, "Hmm. Nice cock. I wonder who owns it?"
There's really no good reason why I should know this (other than spending six months with the Hedgehog and thus acquiring a PhD in porn) but Long Dong Silver, I'm sorry to inform your mom, was a fraud. I mean really, eighteen inches? That had to be a prosthetic. Can you imagine what would happen if it became erect? His heart would be deprived of blood and he'd drop dead on the spot.
By the way, Donna, I haven't removed your fantastic "dolphin 69" necklace since Tuesday night, and I think it's starting to wreck havoc on my subconscious. Let's just say that I've had some very disturbing dreams involving Flipper and a dark alley.
I didn't realize Ron was kinda hot when he was younger.
Eric, take the necklace off before you start doing naughty things with a herring!
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