I Milked Your Dog For You

Beware of the dog-sitter.

It's possible that you too, could come home from an extended weekend and hear your professional dog-sitter (what?! a professional dog-sitter?) say, "I milked your dog for you." This actually happened to the couple that my Colonel is doing work for. Apparently this crazy dog-sitter thought their dog was having a false pregnancy and somehow needed its tits squeezed. How she came to this conclusion I'll never know, but I have images in my head of a Nazi Mary Poppins picking up the animal and saying, "Sheishter. Must milk this weibchen."

I was searching the internet a little bit today, looking for some kind of validation for this random dog milking, but I found none. I did have some juvenile laughs when "Pregnant bitches" kept coming up. And this was pretty funny, Can I give my baby dog milk?
Make sure you read the answers.
There were also a few blurbs about how dog milk is used in homeopathic medicine, but for what I couldn't really find.
So, in some sick and twisted way, I learned something today from an anonymous, flippo dog-sitter, but it's not what you might think.

Some time, I think in 2004 over in Belgium, skeptics of homeopathic medicine staged a mass "suicide" in front of major TV and news reporters. To prove that none of these so-called homeopathic remedies actually work, they decided to intentionally try to OD on large quantities of over-the-counter homeopathic solutions, supposedly derived from deadly poisons. Drinking large quantites of diluted snake venom, arsenic, and deadly nightshade (and dog milk just for fun), the worst thing that happened to these skeptics was a few were feeling a little too dizzy to drive from all the alcohol in the solutions.



And speaking of dogs, I also learned that there is such a thing as The Puppy Bowl.
I challenge everyone to try reading ALL of this posting over at Vonneguts Asshole. I dare you.