Onanism and an Egocentric Egyptian

I came across a book today by Mark Twain called, Some Thoughts on the Science of Onanism, and somehow I didn't know the meaning of the word Onanism. So when I looked it up, I was led to Atum, which led to the Benben stone. Of the many nicknames my son has, his first was BenBen, so of course I had to learn more about it. It's 3 for the price of 1 today.

Onanism is just another word for masturbation. If I loved Mark Twain before, I double love him now.

The ancient Egyptians believed that the universe was created by the god Atum's spooge when he jacked off into his own mouth and got himself pregnant. They also attributed the ebb and flow of the Nile to the frequency of his onanism. Do I get extra credit for using my new word in a sentence?

The Benben stone is a pyramid that was once supposedly a mound of stone that rose out of a river called Nu with Atum sitting upon it, thus giving him the right to say he was the first god because he also created himself by arising from his own force.

I'd like to wrap this lesson up with something clever to say but, I'm kinda speechless at the moment.