Biblical Heroine Prostitute
Today I learned the wholesome childrens biblical story about a whore named Rahab.
As told by Donna Piranha:
Way back before Las Vegas was born, there was another Sin City called Jericho. Around this city was a wall, and whether this wall was built to protect those inside the city or the ones on the outside, I do not know. One day, after wandering the wilderness for 40 freakin' years, a group of Hebrews arrived, and, for some reason, decided to destroy this little piece of the Promised Land. Sooooo, they sent in some spies, who spent 5 days with a prostitute named Rahab. They claimed to have gone to her house "for protection" from the "danger" they had been exposed to. Good choice eh? Wink wink. Anyway, their plan of attack was to march around the city once a day for 6 days, and then on the 7th day, march around it 7 times, then have the priests blow trumpets and the rest of them shout really loudly. Seriously, this was their plan. And it worked. The walls suddenly fell down and they ran in and set everything on fire. Except for the house with the red rope hanging in the window. The spies, wanting to thank her for "saving" them, had told her of their ruinous plans, and had her hang said scarlet rope in her window. That way, every Hebrew guy with a torch would know where she lived and the "nice helpful girl" could be saved. Then she became a Jew and married a guy named Salmon. Nothing fishy there.
The End.
Are you in danger? Come in, I'll help you.Thank you Mike Perschon for the great image!
4 comments:
here we see the decline in quality of the human experience. At first there were true plagues and blood over the doorway to keep you safe from them... now there's all this hubub and lame-o hornblowing... red ropes... blah blah blah. what a let down... what a lowering of standards...
whatever. you'd think after 40 years they'd be able to make up a better story... obviously slavery under the pharoah was better for getting the creative juices flowing.
Yesterday I was talking with a friend of mine who told me the story of Lot and how he let people rape his daughters while he protected some visitors who claimed to be angels from god. Apparently the bible is full of stories like that. Obviously I haven't read all of the book, but it's starting to sound interesting.
have I advertised the brick testament here yet? its the page where the bible stories are played out by lego people....
What's the address? I HAVE to see this!
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