Hot House Flowers Not

Before this evening, all I knew about Bikram's Yoga was that it was yoga done in a really hot room. Now after going to my first class, I know more. A lot more.

• Bikram Yoga translates to Tortuous Hell.
• The yoga room is a steady 105 degrees with something like 40% humidity.
• For an hour and a half, you can sweat like pig and smell like a used hooker in a room full of half naked people.
  
• If you're a guy, you should wear some tighty whities under those loose comfortable shorts. I saw kiwis in the flesh today.
  
• The same 26 poses are used in the same order in every class. That way when your perfect instructor says, "Sasangasana", you know your punishment is almost over and you can go eat that sausage you're somehow suddenly craving.
  
• If, before you go, you don't drink lots of water, you'll have a nasty headache a few hours later. And if you do drink lots of water before you go, you'll have to pee right in the middle of it all.
  
• You should always bring 4 towels with you. 1 to put on top of your yoga mat, 2 to wipe off the dripping sweat, and 1 for the shower you'll want to take immediately after "class".
  
• It's recommended that beginners go every single damn day for 2 solid months. I don't even know why I mention that. It's ricockulous.

If you're considering trying it out, don't. They sucker you in by giving you a really really low "introductory price" for the first month, and while your brain is still sizzling inside your throbbing head, you'll say,"Yes, you're right. I do want to do this every day for the next 30 days, so, ok, sure, sign me up."
With all that being said, I think I liked it. But it's entirely likely you may never hear from me again.