Mounds of Shells

Another day, another month, another year, all at once. So what do I choose to do with this special day? Go to Ikea. I'm nowhere near a shopaholic and I generally hate malls and buying crap made in China, but in order to keep my resolution for a neater, more organized life this year, I needed some more stuff. Ikea is about an hour away from where I live, so going there is a big deal and a few times a year, we go and make a day out of it.
Today, on the way home, I noticed something on Shellmound Street that I'd never noticed before. Right on the corner was this big Teletubby green hill with a fountain squirting out of the side of it. It was the ugliest, most retarded thing I've seen since that Suri Cruise turd sculpture thing.
Now, I am a true lover of art and I can appreciate most kinds of expression, but sometimes I see a ginormous piece of crap in a public setting and I fucking hate it. I wasn't really sure this thing was art or not, so incredulously, I turned to my driver, aka the Colonel, and asked, "What the hell is that hill thing supposed to represent?", to which he said, "The shell mound". He started telling me what I thought was one of his best bullshit answers yet. (Remember, we are on Shellmound Street with the sign hanging right in front of us). He proceeds to tell me about how the native Americans who used to live here long ago had made huge piles of shells, discarded from shellfish meals provided by the nearby sea. He said these mounds were all over this area, but they were bulldozed and built over. This fountain thing probably was meant as a respectful memorial of the people who lived here first.
When I got home, I looked it up.

He was right.

Lyckligt nytt år!!
(Happy New Year, in Swedish)
(Even though I noticed that almost everything in Ikea was designed in Sweden but made in China)
(Which pisses me off)