The Other Side of the Needle
An old friend called me today, crying. She's going through a really ugly divorce and needed support. I lovingly listened and sympathized through her side of the story and did my best to comfort her. I think I said the right things. I hope I made a difference.
I really want her to know that I completely and totally understand. I've been there. I've learned. I know. When you're in the middle of it, it's hard to see that it won't always be so messy and blurry and crazy. I hope I got that across at least.
I know it sounds terrible, but while I was listening to her, something good happened to me. I saw a beautiful picture of my life. 10 years ago it was me going through hell while she was enjoying her precious new baby. I wasn't jealous, but I was envious, in a positive way if that makes sense. I wished I could be in her shoes. So secure, so loved, so peaceful. I never, ever thought that I'd be sitting here, in my own cute little cozy home, with the almost greatest guy right beside me, our own little guy asleep in his little bed, after a day of listening to her seperation woes. Never. So today I guess I learned a few things.
1- Things change. Dramatically and quickly sometimes. Of course I already knew that, but this really made it obvious, like nothing ever has.
2- You really can't tell how happy people are just by looking.
3- There are no perfect relationships. There are good ones, and great ones, but none are perfect.
4- You get what you want, eventually.
5- I'm really proud, grateful and satisfied to be where I am right now.
6- It feels soooo excellent coming through the other side.
I think sometimes it's good for you to squeeze through and get a little scarred. I can't imagine if I didn't. I'm so much stronger now. And wiser. I know she will be too. I hope I can help her to see that.
4 comments:
Ten years is not that quickly...
"I'm so much stronger now."
and you consider that a quality?
You're right, it isn't quickly. And yes, I do consider that a quality. A good one.
Thanks for reading.
I liked your Happiness blog by the way.
upss, I read strange, it was late, sorry. I believe the same, that's a quality.
I'm glad. I was wondering if you were looking for a spanking. Just kidding. And just so you know, it didn't take 10 years to "get through the needle". I was pretty much over it 2 years before it started. Divorce can be messy and emotional, even if you want it and if it's the best thing for you. I do think things change quickly sometimes. Less than a year ago I thought they were the most secure couple I knew, and now this.
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