Sunday, August 27, 2006

Full-Court What?


At 9 freaking AM this morning, Sunday morning mind you, my realtor calls both of my phones to wake me up and tell me someone is about to make an offer on the house that I want. The one I was just dreaming about when the phone jerked me awake. E-gads, now what? I want that house, damn it! Last month I swear he said it was a buyers market. Whatever. Anyway, his suggestion was to put in an offer immediately, at more than the asking price, with a short 2 week contingency on selling my house, and "We'll put on a Full-Court Press". Ehm, excuse me? A what? When I said I've never heard this expression, this is what I learned:

A Full-Court Press is a basketball term, referring to a desparate manuever where the entire defense puts intense pressure on the offense the full length of the court, and something something something.

Wait a sec. I drank a lot of alcohol last night and it's only 9 o'clock in the morning. Weren't we just talking about my new pool? So of course I say, "And this applies to my house how?", and my lesson continued:

Figuratively, it means a vigorous attack or offensive. And in real estate, in my town, on a Sunday morning, it means wake the fuck up and start selling your house like you're Dennis Rodman.

Or something. So, anyone want to buy this cute house? It's on a quiet street with good neighbors, has a big backyard, a fireplace, cool hardwood floors, ......
And someday you can tell everyone you live where THE Donna Piranha (not Madonna) used to have sex on the living room floor. Right there! (See Advice From a Hedonist, down at August 10th).



8 comments:

madmax said...

"And someday you can tell everyone you live where THE Donna Piranha (not Madonna) used to have sex on the living room floor."
That's praiseworthy for sure. I'm also a kind of hedonist, and that's a bad thing that I'm trying to get rid of. By the way I translated the post about Subway.

Lexa Roséan said...

Your blog is really funny and full of heart felt wisdom. Good luck with the house and check out my website as I have a great REAL ESTATE SPELL.

Anonymous said...

I am SOOOO never stepping on your living room floor again!

Donna Piranha said...

Thanks for the translation Max! I posted a comment for you.
Thank you for the spell Lexa, I should have done it. I only have a few of the needed items though. I'm going to go read your page again. I apprecitate the positive feedback.

Donna Piranha said...

I got an offer today, but it wasn't what I was looking for, so I countered back a little hard. We'll see what happens.
Come on, make me a better offer someone!

Anonymous said...

Did you get an acceptance of your counter? If so.. let's PARTY!!

Donna Piranha said...

I got a counter to my counter and I hate this bullshit game. I'm going to counter the counter to my counter with "Fuck You, buy the crappy house in the crappy neighborhood". Find me a real buyer and I'll be in your debt.
Oops, who are you?

Mommie Dearest said...

Good question.. who am I???? Think the display name should give you a hint....