Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Good Riddance

I love Larry Flynt Jerry Falwell is gone.
Here's what this old Hustler ad says,
in case you can't read it.

Falwell: My first time was in an outhouse outside Lynchburg, Virginia
Interviewer: Wasn’t it a little cramped?
Falwell: Not after I kicked the goat out.
Interviewer: I see. You must tell me all about it.
Falwell: I never really expected to make it with Mom, but then after she showed all the other guys in town such a good time, I figured, "What the hell!"
Interviewer: But your Mom? Isn’t that a little odd?
Falwell: I don’t think so. Looks don’t mean that much to me in a woman.
Interviewer: Go on.
Falwell: Well, we were drunk off our God-fearing asses on Campari, ginger ale and soda—that’s called a Fire and Brimstone—at the time. And Mom looked better than a Baptist whore with a $100 donation
Interviewer: Campari in the crapper with Mom. How interesting.. .Well how was it?
Falwell: The Campari was great but mom passed out before I could come.
Interviewer: Did you ever try it again?
Falwell: Sure. Lots of times. But not in the outhouse. Between Mom and the shit, the flies were too much to bear.
Interviewer: We meant the Campari.
Falwell: Oh, yeah, I always get sloshed before I go to the pulpit. You don’t think I could lay down all that bullshit sober do you?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

No takers on this one, huh?