Win-Win

Last night I took a $50 dare to wear my tiara for an entire week, wherever I go. Shit, doesn't he know I'd wear it every day for nothing? Then I traded my 50 bucks for a pack of smokes, 7 days early. Plus, now I have a legitimate excuse for wearing it in public.

I didn't learn anything today, but I thought I'd share how much fun it is riding my bike on the highway, wearing my beloved tiara.
Well, I guess I could say I learned a few things.

Like:

It isn't generally accepted by the public to wear a tiara for no reason.
At least 10 people asked me what the occasion was. I just said, "Shut the fuck up and fetch me my slippers."

and

If you really, really need some attention, put on a tiara and stand on a corner waiting to cross a busy street.
At one point on my way home today, at least 5 people were staring at me at the same time, for what seemed like an hour.

and maybe even

If you're some kind of freak and like having long, meaningless conversation with the woman working at the bank, wear a plastic tiara with the gold paint chipping off and missing a few fake gemstones when you make a deposit.
She'll tell you ALL about the "real one" she bought herself for her 40th birthday, and wore again on her 50th birthday, and everything that happened in between. When you've had enough, show her how the last pink, heart-shaped jewel on your "fake one" flashes when you squeeze it. That'll shut her up.