Beheading and Other Survival Skills

Today was my bi-annual catalog photo shoot day, and in my free time between setting up shots, I read the Chronicle. I learned something from columnist Leah Garchik (I love that name), and hopefully you'll learn something from columnist Diva Donna.

In case you ever find yourself behind enemy lines, you can prepare for the unlikely event by attending a class in Las Vegas held by the Counter Terrorism Training School. Starting next Wednesday through Friday, you can learn how to survive a beheading attempt or other forms of execution, as well as how to escape from captivity. You can also learn how to free yourself from being tied by rope, duct tape, wire or handcuffs.

Who beheads anymore? That's so French. Sooooo 18th century.
I think I'm going to sign up just so I can see how to survive an attempt. I mean, really, can you actually survive a beheading attempt? This I have to see. I'd also like to learn how to escape from captivity. Mon Dieu, do I need to learn how to escape. Plus, all this fun is happening in the Motherland and I miss it so.

I also learned not to:

-Image search the word "execution"
-Image search the word "torture"
-Make eye contact with the creep next to me in stop and go, 2 mph commuter traffic
-Drink spiced rum with sparkling pomogranate juice before both breakfast and 10:30 am

Je répète, mon Dieu!