Hire a Painter

Lot's of lessons involving paint and painting today, and I hope to whatever that you never need to use any of this information.

I now know not to try to buy paint at Friedman Bros. at 4pm. The "paint guy" works 7 to 3 or something ricockulous and the "other guy" who will try to help you only knows how to mix one machine blah blah blah whatever and you have to go through the infuriating process of picking a new color, and believe me, there is only one correct shade of brown. Also, tell this guy what brand you want because if you don't, there are lot's of paint cans on their shelves that apparently contain gold and therefore cost wayyy more than you may want to spend.

I also learned that when you move your drop cloth to your next painting location, make sure you don't put it paint-drip side down. And, cover the can with a cloth or something before you hammer the lid back on unless you like the look of paint spatters everywhere. Don't bother with gloves because you'll get paint on your arms anyway. And your face, hair, legs and most important to remember, your shoes. There are little brown footprints all over my hardwood floors.
So, on a paintcan lid , today I learned:

If you need something painted, hire a painter. Or two. Guys. Mid twenties I'd say.