Monday, July 09, 2007

Parthenogenesis

My Crotoniid mom. And dad.Once upon a time, a few female soil mites sat around complaining about the male soil mites, and after lengthy conversation decided that they had had enough.
"Fuck 'em," they all said.
"Or not," smiled one particularly bitter yet clever she-mite.
And without realizing it, those two little words started a revolution, and the female population started reproducing without putting out.
The males grew furious, then desperate. They moved quickly from cursing to begging.
"Come on baby. Please? I need you."
"Not in a million years," echoed through the dirt piles.
And the males began to disappear.

Then one day, almost exactly a million years later, a bedraggled male was seen crawling over a dirt clod in the distance.
"What about now?" he choked out.
When the females finally stopped laughing, a silence spread over the crowd. They all looked at each other, afraid to say what they were thinking. Then one brave and lonely female shrugged her little antennae and said, "Eh. Alright. Sure. Come on over."
And the Crotoniid mite fuck-fest began.

This is a true story. Here's proof- I Give Cloning for Sex


2 comments:

Gem Girl said...

You and your bug sex ;)

Donna Piranha said...

Watch out for my next blog, Weird and Hot Ways Animals Get Laid.

That or Weekends Without Kids- The Wild Adventures of a Rampant Single Mom.

Or Are You Talking To Me? which would chronicle all the stupid things people say to me.

Or, nevermind.