Thursday, July 05, 2007

Freak Without Warning

My constant companion.

If you drive really fast, you save gas.

It's true. I just did an experiment and proved it. I had to pick my son up from work about 20 miles away, which usually sucks an hour and 10 bucks of gas out of my tank by the time I get home. But today I was feeling a little more wild and reckless than usual, and since it was just me in the car I put the windows down, the music up, and drove as fast I could. It was really great speeding just for fun, instead of being late which is my usual excuse. It was almost as thrilling as that Sky Swing thing I did in Reno a couple of years ago. I felt so bad-ass with my hair flying and AC/DC pumping out of my momma van.
What a retard.
Most of the time when I go pick him up, the little orange gas light has been on for 3 days, so I'll have to put in $10.00 on the way out of town. By the time I get back home, the light is on again. But today, no orange light. See what I'm saying? It's totally true.

I also learned something else that's good to know.

You can do 85 in a 45 in a small town and not get caught if you drive a momma van.

I suspect it's because cops aren't really on the lookout for innocent looking blonde's driving recklessly in minivans. Another one of my theories I've been testing for the last few years now.
I wonder how far I can go with it?

8 comments:

Cousin Jenn (the one you ignore) said...

Or your gas light could be broken...

colonel ANgus said...

Could be, but we have a backup.
If you let it go on long enough without refilling, the Check Engine light comes on, and that means we have two miles left.

cousin jenn said...

Right on. We are getting a new van in the next few weeks. Go mama van, go!

Donna Piranha said...

Once you've had van you'll never go back.

JMB said...

http://www.momsminivan.com/

Donna Piranha said...

Ah James. That made me wanna puke.

madmax said...

knew that from my dad :P go fast & save fuel

Brandon said...

Just be careful not to exceed 40 miles per hour over the speed limit. 40MPH over is considered Reckless Driving in most states, an immediate GO TO JAIL in my state, WA. I was actually very shocked to find out that I was going to jail. A cop pulled me over on a remote stretch of I-90 going 110 in a 70. I was in no-man's land, driving a white Volvo station wagon, which was typical invisible to the boys in blue. It was my unlucky day. I had a license, insurance, registration... everything was legit. There was just one small problem. I was going 40 over. My wife, who was sitting shotgun, followed the cop to the jail and immediately paid the $500 bail. I didn't see the inside of an actual jail cell, but I was hauled into jail. Good thing I had $500 bones handy.